Yo, Christopher Nolan! Answer My Q's!

This is a guest blog by the one and only, J. Scott Havertz. From the looks of it, this will be a pretty regular occurrence...enjoy!


DON’T READ THIS if you haven’t seen The Dark Knight Rises. Spoiler Alert ahead!!!


Lauren and I saw Batman over the weekend. Fantastic movie. Hard to top the "The Dark Knight” but it sure came close. Anyway, after the movie I realized I had some real issues w/ the plot. Took 2 hrs of my Saturday evening to do Batman research. Couldn’t find answers. Some things just #didntmakesense (my trademark hashtag).


Let’s think about a few things that Christopher Nolan CLEARLY didn’t answer:


Stock Exchange:Remember, the point of the attack was to leave Bruce Wayne destitute. Let's recap how Bane tried to impoverish Batman:
1) Hijacking the Gotham Stock Exchange
2) Breaking into Bruce Wayne's account directly through the stock exchange
3) Buying puts that expire at midnight on futures


Now, let's count the ways this doesn't make sense


1) Trading would almost certainty stop once the attack on the stock exchange started
2) If trades did go through, they would definitely be cancelled afterwards
3) The biggest question of all: Why oh why did Bane buy puts for Bruce Wayne? 


Finance refresher: Puts are contracts that protect the buyer AGAINST losses. So why would Bane buy options that protect Bruce Wayne against losses when Bane's assault would almost certainly cause huge losses? #DOESNTMAKESENSE


Weirdo Prison: 
1) How did Batman get from Israel to Gotham in under and hour?
2) How did Batman actually get into Gotham? Wasn’t it blocked off by every military force in the US? 
3) Who feeds the prisoners in the prison?


Bane: 
1) Did Bane die? I understand he was demolished by a bazooka, but did he ACTUALLY die!?
2) How’d he get super strong? Was he on steroids? #hopeso
3) What was the point of the mask?
4) Why is his voice a mix between Darth Vader and an Irish Grandpa?


Bomb: 1) With 1:30 before the bomb exploded Batman was able to do the following: 


1a) Hook the bomb to the Batmobile 
2b) 15 second kiss with Catwoman
3c) 15 second pep talk with Commissioner Gordon
4d) Fly the bomb out of the parking garage and into the ocean 10+ miles away
5e) Oh, and he survived a nuclear explosion. Amazing


2) The cops lived underground for over three months, right? Did they shave? Because I didn't see any beards during the final battle. 


C’mon, Christopher Nolan! I didn’t wait 4 yrs to be confused! But I still love you. And your movies. Superman better be awesome.